Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans ! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember:
'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'
AND.....
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
I love this Doctor!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
My Supreme Court nominee
This decision affects us all -- and so it must involve us all. I've recorded a special message to personally introduce Judge Sotomayor and explain why I'm so confident she will make an excellent Justice.
Please watch the video, and then pass this note on to friends and family to include them in this historic moment.
Judge Sotomayor has lived the America Dream. Born and raised in a South Bronx housing project, she distinguished herself in academia and then as a hard-charging New York District Attorney.
Judge Sotomayor has gone on to earn bipartisan acclaim as one of America's finest legal minds. As a Supreme Court Justice, she would bring more federal judicial experience to the Supreme Court than any Justice in 100 years. Judge Sotomayor would show fidelity to our Constitution and draw on a common-sense understanding of how the law affects our day-to-day lives.
A nomination for a lifetime appointment to the highest court in the land is one of the most important decisions a President can make. And the discussions that follow will be among the most important we have as a nation. You can begin the conversation today by watching this special message and then passing it on:
http://my.barackobama.com/SupremeCourt
Thank you,
President Barack Obama
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Yikes, bedbugs! EPA looks to stop resurgence
ARLINGTON, Va. (AP) — "Don't let the bedbugs bite." Doesn't seem so bad in a cheerful bedtime rhyme, but it's becoming a really big problem now that the nasty critters are invading hospitals, college dorms and even swanky hotels. With the most effective pesticides banned, the government is trying to figure out how to respond to the biggest bedbug outbreak since World War II.
Bedbugs live in the crevices and folds of mattresses, sofas and sheets. Then, most often before dawn, they emerge to feed on human blood.
Faced with rising numbers of complaints to city information lines and increasingly frustrated landlords, hotel chains and housing authorities, the Environmental Protection Agency hosted its first-ever bedbug summit Tuesday.
Organized by one of the agency's advisory committees, the two-day conference drew about 300 participants to a hotel in Arlington, just across the Potomac River from Washington. An Internet site notes that the hotel in question has had no reports of bedbugs.
One of the problems with controlling the reddish-brown insects, according to researchers and the pest control industry, is that there are few chemicals on the market approved for use on mattresses and other household items that are effective at controlling bedbug infestations.
Unlike roaches and ants, bedbugs are blood feeders and can't be lured by bait. It's also difficult for pesticides to reach them in every crack and crevice they hide out in.
"It is a question of reaching them, finding them," said Harold Harlan, an entomologist who has been raising bedbugs for 36 years, feeding them with his own blood. He has the bites to prove it.
The EPA, out of concern for the environment and the effects on public health, has pulled many of the chemicals that were most effective in eradicating the bugs in the U.S. At the same time, the appleseed-sized critters have developed a pesticide resistance because those chemicals are still in use in other countries.
Increasing international travel has also helped them to hitchhike into the U.S.
"One of our roles would be to learn of new products or safer products. ... What we are concerned about is that if people take things into their own hands and start using pesticides on their mattresses that aren't really registered for that, that's a problem," said Lois Rossi, director of the registration division in the EPA's Office of Pesticide Programs.
The EPA is not alone in trying to deal with the problem. An aide to Rep. G.K. Butterfield, D-N.C., says the congressman plans to reintroduce legislation next week to expand grant programs to help public housing authorities cope with infestations.
The bill will be called the "Don't Let the Bedbugs Bite Act."
"It was clear something needed to be done," said Saul Hernandez, Butterfield's legislative assistant.
Bedbugs are not known to transmit any diseases. But their bites can cause infections and allergic reactions in some people. The insects release an anticoagulant to get blood flowing, and they also excrete a numbing agent so their bites don't often wake their victims.
Those often hardest hit are the urban poor, who cannot afford to throw out all their belongings or take other drastic measures. Extermination can cost between $400-$900.
So bedbug problems increase, said Dini Miller, an entomologist and bedbug expert at Virginia Tech, who until 2001 saw bedbugs only on microscope slides dating from the 1950s. Now she gets calls and e-mails several times a day from people at their wits' end.
"I can't tell you how many people have spent the night in their bathtubs because they are so freaked out by bedbugs," Miller said. "I get these people over the phone that have lost their marbles."
Because the registration of new pesticides takes so long, one thing the EPA could do is to approve some pesticides for emergency use, Miller said.
Another tactic would be to screen pesticides allowed for use by farmers to see if they are safe in household settings.
Representatives of the pest control industry will be pushing for federal funding for research into alternative solutions, such as heating, freezing or steaming the bugs out of bedrooms.
"We need to have better tools," said Greg Baumann, a senior scientist at the National Pest Management Association. "We need EPA to consider all the options for us."
Saturday, April 04, 2009
The Ones Who Got It Right
Date: April 3, 2009 6:40:33 PM EDT
To: alerts@lists.nader.org
Subject: The Ones Who Got It Right
Why is it that well regarded people working the fields of corporate
power and performance who repeatedly predicted the Wall Street bubble
and its bursting receive so little media and attention?
Instead, the public is still being exposed to the comments and
writings of people like Alan Greenspan, Robert Rubin, James Glassman
(of Dow 36,000 notoriety) while others like Timothy Geithner, Larry
Summers, and Gary Gensler are newly-appointed at high levels in the
Obama Administration. These men were variously architects,
rationalizers and implementers of the massive de-regulation and non-
regulation that unleashed the epic forces of greed, speculation and
ruination of millions of livelihoods and trillions of dollars other
peoples' money worldwide.
Here are some of the people who got it right—early and often:
1. William Greider—author and columnist with The Nation magazine—wrote
books (including Secrets of the Temple, 1988) and articles warning
about the Federal Reserve and the anti-democratic consequences of
rampant corporate globalization.
2. Robert Kuttner whose books (e.g. Everything for Sale, 1999) and
articles predicted what will happen to workers and pensions when the
regulatory state is tossed aside by the corporatists operating inside
and outside of government.
3. Jim Hightower whose books (If the Gods Has Meant Us to Vote, They
Would Have Given Us Candidates, 2000) and the monthly mass circulation
Hightower Lowdown newsletter pointed out again and again the abuses of
the "greedhounds" and vastly overpaid corporate bosses that have run
consumers of health care, credit, cars and banks into the ground.
4. Nomi Prins (Other Peoples Money, 2004) a former managing director
of Goldman Sachs, quit in disgust and began disclosing how these giant
Wall St. firms deal and how, with their ideological backers, they wove
their webs of deception and fraud against investors, students
borrowing money for college, taxpayers ripped off by corporate
contractors, sick people gouged and insurance companies denying
legitimate claims. (See her book Jacked: How "Conservatives" Are
Picking Your Pocket, 2008)
5. John R. MacArthur, author (The Selling of "Free Trade", 2001)
columnist and publisher of Harpers, authored a sharp, prophetic
criticism of NAFTA's effect on U.S. and Mexican workers. Finally, on
March 24, 2009 the New York Times featured a report titled "NAFTA's
Promise, UNfulfilled."
6. Robert A.G. Monks—the leading shareholder rights advocate in our
country warned for years in books (latest Corpocracy, 2008) ,
articles, testimony and standup challenges at corporate annual
meetings that keeping investors—the owners of these companies—
powerless and dominated by corporate executives would lead to big
trouble. Everyday, you can now see the ways that avaricious abuses of
executive compensation by Wall Street led to cooking the books, hiding
the debts and wildly losing other peoples' money.
7. Tom Stanton, whose 1991 book State of Risk, exposed the dangerously
undercapitalized condition of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac and predicted
coming disaster if this reckless leveraging continued. By comparison,
a year ago Fannie and Freddie's federal regulator, James B. Lockhart
III called fears of a bailout "nonsense" and amazingly further lowered
the required capital levels months before their collapse and takeover
a few months later. Mr. Lockhart is still in his job heading a new
regulatory entity over these two goliaths.
8. Republican Kevin Phillips, (latest book Bad Money: Reckless
Finance, Failed Politics, and the Global Crisis of American
Capitalism, 2007) whose numerous writings on Wall Street power and
money and the dictatorial rule of the plutocracy were wise,
historically—rooted premonitions of future collapse.
9. Dean Baker, (latest Plunder and Blunder, 2004) Washington-based
economist, warned repeatedly earlier in this decade of the housing
bubble and the calamitous consequences once it burst. He even sold his
own home in 2004 and became a tenant, so convinced was he of the
housing precipice.
10. Then there is Naomi Klein who has been documenting how economic
disasters produced by corporations and their governmental cohorts end
up not with reforms but with further increasing the power of the
corporate state. (See Shock Doctrine the Rise of Disaster Capitalism,
2007)
Chances are that outside the independent media and an occasional
public tv-radio interview, you have not seen or read them in the mass
media. But they were right, so why haven't you? Well, first of all,
they took on commercial interests and called them out by name and
specific misdeeds. Take it from one who knows, big advertisers do not
hesitate to let their media outlets know about their displeasure.
Publishers, editors and producers will deny being affected by such
realities of the bottom line but money talks—not always but enough to
screen out or marginalize the provocative early warners.
Second, these early warners are not like their counterparts such as
the market fundamentalists and other active corporatists in the world
of writers and commentators. The latter meet and plan often and
ferociously attach themselves to political and corporate leaders.
While the progressive forecasters do not connect either with each
other or with their policy allies on Capitol Hill as much. The media
likes to see growing power like that of the intertwined Heritage
Foundation with the Reagan regime and their supporters in Congress.
Third, there is this sense that these progressives are exposing
conditions that the reporters themselves should be revealing. So why
not publish staff-driven magazine-style features instead of
publicizing outsiders and covering an unfolding story as reportage.
Journalistic prizes go to the former. But, they're not the same either
in reader impact or for change.
Finally, there are establishment figures who tried, in their own way,
to blow the whistle—James Grant, Henry Kaufman and, twenty five years
ago, Felix Rohatyn come to mind. Their astute alarms regarding
excessive risk-taking were ignored. They are not getting much media
play either.
Maybe it's also a cultural thing. Big book deals, radio talk shows,
promotions and quotable celebrity status go to the rogues, the grossly
negligent, the suppressors of truth and the wrongdoers. They're just
so much more exciting!
This is a fast road to a state of decay.
End.
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Thursday, April 02, 2009
RONALD REAGAN'S SECRET
Monday, March 30, 2009
SUPER FOODS - YOGURT
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Be like ...
Be like the sun in tenderness and mercy
Be like the night in covering the faults of others
Be like the dead in anger and nervousness
Be like the earth in modesty and humility
Be like the sea in tolerance
Be like your appearance or appear like yourself.
- Mowlana Jalal ud din Rumi
Monday, February 23, 2009
In a Recession, the Consumer Is Queen
The first clue came when I got my hair cut. The stylist offered not just the usual coffee or tea but a complimentary nail-polish change while I waited for my hair to dry. Maybe she hoped this little amenity would slow the growing inclination of women to stretch each haircut to last four months while nursing our hair back to whatever natural color we long ago forgot.
Then there was the appliance salesman who offered to carry my bags as we toured the microwave aisle. When I called my husband to ask him to check some specs online, the salesman offered a pre-emptive discount, lest the surfing turn up the same model cheaper at Best Buy. That night, for the first time, I saw the Hyundai ad promising shoppers that if they buy a car and then lose their job in the next year, they can return it. (See 25 people to blame for the financial crisis.)
Suddenly everything's on sale--even silver linings. The upside to the downturn is the immense incentive it gives retailers to treat you like a queen for a day. During the flush times, salespeople were surly, waiters snobby, as though their kanpachi tartare with wasabi tobiko might be too good for the likes of you. But now the customer rules, just for showing up. There's more room to stretch out on the flight, even in coach. The malls have that serene aura of undisturbed wilderness, with scarcely a shopper in sight. Every conversation with anyone selling anything is a pantomime of pain and bluff. Finger the scarf, then start to walk away, and its price floats silkily downward. When the mechanic calls to tell you that brakes and a timing belt and other services will run close to $2,000, it's time to break out the newly perfected art of the considered pause. You really don't even have to say anything pitiful before he'll offer to knock a few hundred dollars off.
Some places figured out that children, those adorable cash suckers, could clear a passage into our pocketbooks, beyond the old kids-eat-free-on-Tuesday promotions. Colorado's Aspen-Snowmass ski resort arranged for kids to fly free and threw in lift tickets for those accompanied by a paying adult. (Read "How To Know When The Economy is Turning Up.")
Restaurants are caught in a fit of ardent hospitality, especially around Wall Street: Trinity Place offers $3 drinks at happy hour any day the market goes down, with the slogan "Market tanked? Get tanked!"--which ensures a lively crowd for the closing bell. The "21" Club has decided that men no longer need to wear ties, so long as they bring their wallets. Food itself is friendlier: you notice more comfort food, a truce between chef and patron that is easier to enjoy now that you can get a table practically anywhere. And tap water is fine, thanks. New York Times restaurant critic Frank Bruni characterizes the new restaurant demeanor as "extreme solicitousness tinged with outright desperation." "You need to hug the customer," one owner told him.
There's a chance that eventually we'll return all this kindness with the profligate spending the government once decried but now would like to harness to restart the economy. But human nature is funny that way. In dangerous times, we clench and squint at the deal that looks too good to miss, suspecting that it must be too good to be true. Is the store with the supercheap flat screens going to go bust and thus not be there to honor the "free" extended warranty? Is there something ... wrong ... with that free cheese? Store owners will tell you horror stories about shoppers with attitude, who walk in demanding discounts and flaunt their new power at every turn. They wince as they sense bad habits forming: Will people expect discounts forever? Will their hard-won brand luster be forever cheapened, especially for items whose allure depends on their being ridiculously priced?
There will surely come a day when things go back to "normal"; retail sales even inched up in January after sinking for the six months previous. But I wonder what it will take for us to see those $545 Sigerson Morrison studded toe-ring sandals as reasonable? Bargain-hunting can be addictive regardless of the state of the Dow, and haggling is a low-risk, high-value contact sport. Trauma digs deep into habits, like my 85-year-old mother still calling her canned-goods cabinet "the bomb shelter." The children of the First Depression were saving string and preaching sacrifice long after the skies cleared. They came to be called the "greatest generation." As we learn to be decent stewards of our resources, who knows what might come of it? We have lived in an age of wanton waste, and there is value in practicing conservation that goes far beyond our own bottom line.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
We Like to Think of it as our Elephant in the Room
We Like to Think Of It As Our Elephant in the Room
Woman #1: I did that walk once when the subway was out.
Woman #2: It's good exercise. So, me and my friend decided that we need to exercise at least twenty minutes a day. For motivation, we decided that for each day we don't get at least twenty minutes in, we will donate $10 to the Republican National Committee. It's very motivating.
--Hudson & Houston
Something for Which One Would Have to Pay Extra
Freshman girl: I really like this guy...but he's like 28.
Freshman boy: I'm pretty sure that's illegal.
Freshman girl: What do you mean?
Freshman boy: Like, really illegal. Even in Russia.
--Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: Loverparty
Photo Grade Paper, or Did You Cheap Out on Me?
Waiter: Yeah, that's just because you're obsessed with me.
Bartender, sarcastically: Oh, yeah, right--I'm totally obsessed with you. I went to your Facebook page and downloaded all the pictures of you on there and printed them out and put them up on my wall so I could have a collage.
Waiter: That was oddly specific.
--Lounge, Don't Tell Mama
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
And What's More Hilarious Than Middle-aged Sex?
Comedy show promoter: Comedy show tonight! 50% off, right here! What about you guys?
Middle-aged woman with husband: No thanks, we're seeing a movie.
Comedy show promoter: What about after your movie? We got late shows too!
Middle-aged woman: That's when we go home and have sex. Thanks, though.
--Times Square
Overheard by: Laura
Even Better
Upper East Side mom: Jackie, you have so many friends! I'm so happy for you!
Six-year-old girl: Mommy, those aren't my friends. Those are my entourage.
--92nd & Madison
Overheard by: LLOYD!!!
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